Death has visited us,
and subsequently,
visitations, and
a funeral.
Ours was a loss
long anticipated,
suffering relieved
by passing on.
Dutifully, I planned
to accompany Mom,
show support, and
represent our side.
Disability answers
to its own drum,
and this added stress
inflamed the beat.
Attempts at resting,
met fired adrenals –
locked on fight/flight
as my mind reeled
conjuring images
of confrontations,
inquisitions, and
judgments, then
raised unrelated
issues unresolved,
spinning webs,
speeding pulse
I spiraled into
a perpetual abyss
of wiry panic –
release unattainable.
Disappointment
my hangover,
as predictably,
I am a no show.
One Woman's Quest 