Maybe

Maybe I just needed a new perspective –
like the famed Hanged Man of tarot –
committed to some deep, internal need,
willed a horizontal shift, landed with intent.

Maybe it is not my legs that are disabled,
but a soul longing to escape the continual
discord of perpetual motion, a never-ending
to-do list of the success driven persona.

Maybe there is a greater purpose for being
that is not encompassed by outer drive –
a mysterious meaning that is revealed only
in the quiet stillness in which I now dwell.

Maybe I have been called to a personal
pilgrimage – a Camino of sorts, a crusade
of spirit designed to cleanse and enlighten –
the journey is certainly arduous enough.

Maybe it is through acceptance, finally
having released  a need to control, move,
achieve, accomplish that I am able to
embrace the true lessons of suffering.

Maybe this cocooning is an act of Grace
demanding surrender before the actual
transformation occurs, and I will emerge
legless or not, winged and ready to soar.

Maybe, just maybe, this stripped down,
barren existence is not a penance for
shameful living, but a desert crossing,
offering re-alignment, hard-fought peace.

Ostracized

Disturbances alarm me
an intentional bystander
burying my head,
avoiding conflict.

Strife spills over
butting up against
personal limitations
forgetting myself
I engage
finding unforeseen strength,
defying odds
then remembering
letting go,
deflated.

I feel targeted
displaced rage
threatens me, stalks
and I am helpless
vulnerable.
My pleas for help
unheard, unanswered.

My life is at stake here people!
Pay attention!

Expectations are high
uplifted by progress;
promising road ahead-
I am out of sync
missing opportunities,
losing my place
forgotten

disability
limits me
I have no strength
but I have needs

Life taunts me
within arms reach
yet inaccessible –
rights diminished.

I crave life,
sustenance,
connection,

in isolation.