nonfiction – Page 8 – One Woman's Quest

Plateaus

“I don’t know, Lynn; I just feel flat, as if I’m stuck.”

“You’ve probably just reached a plateau.”

“What do you mean?” Lynn, fifteen years my senior, was a beloved cousin and mentor. When I was young, I knew her as a famous singer who traveled and performed with celebrities. Poor health forced her off the road, and a failed marriage stripped her of all material wealth. Yet, Lynn never lost her quiet dignity, and I found in her a gentle friend, who was always willing to listen.

“The spiritual journey has been compared to climbing a mountain: sometimes the going is easy and exhilarating; sometimes it is steep and difficult; and sometimes you reach a plateau.”

“That feels about right.”

“Have patience, and when the time is right, you will move again.”

I always pictured Lynn as a pillar in my life. Her strength and presence often held me up. Since she died fifteen years ago, no one else has taken her place.

* * * * *

My quest for spiritual enlightenment started as a little girl. I distinctly remember being five and having a strong sense of purpose, as if God put me here on this earth to do something. I felt it was important to keep the door open for God, so that I would be ready when the time came. My faith was pure, innocent, and wholehearted.

Fifteen was when I started to have doubts and turned my back on God. I also fell into a depression that would not break for many years.

At twenty-eight, I felt like I suddenly woke up from a deep sleep, and the quest was on again. These were the years when Lynn and I bonded, and I tackled that mountain with fervour. I had never felt so alive. Even through hardship and pain, I never felt alone. I knew that God was with me.

Then I turned my back again. It was nine years ago, but now I’m backing, asking questions again; wondering.

I guess I just hit another plateau, Lynn.

Gift of Communication

It was a Friday afternoon and I was picking up my three children from school. Within five minutes of climbing on board, the oldest had her younger brother in tears. I felt my ire rising.

By the time we got home, she was lacing into me. My first instinct was to let her know who was boss, but I was the adult, so I walked out of the room, and took a deep breath, willing myself to gain some perspective.

Calmly, I rejoined my daughter, gently placing my hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Your brother and I weren’t around you long enough to get you this upset. What’s bothering you?”

My eleven year-old daughter’s anger melted into tears. “The kids at school are pressuring me to smoke,” she sobbed. “I told them I don’t want to, but they keep bugging me.”

I sighed with relief. Thank goodness I had not met her aggression with more aggression, shutting down any communication between us. This child needed someone to confide in, and I was so grateful I could be there for her.

That was the day my daughter taught me never to take another person’s moods personally, because when you do, you miss the possibility of greater intimacy.

(Image: www.nhs.uk)

Calming Breath

Imagine being able to clear the clutter of your mind; to set aside all your thoughts, worries, obsessions, and just breathe. Imagine letting go of all the tension in your body; setting aside pain, and discomfort in favour of just being. Imagine the noise and distractions of everyday life just floating through you without sticking; your awareness not blocked, but heightened.

Through the practice of meditation, I have experienced this feeling of being suspended, at peace, in a state of harmony. It is calming, reassuring, refreshing. Reaching this place offers renewal, and at times, a sensation of bliss. It is amazing how, no matter how stressed, this state of being offers such relaxation, that it shifts perception.

Breathe deeply, slowly, and let your exhale carry the tension out of your body and mind. Take your time. Let thoughts flow in and out. Perceive them, and let them go. Everything that is important will be there later. Affirm it. It’s safe to set all thoughts aside.

Let your in breath fill you with clear, calming energy, washing over you, helping the out breath carry away the tension. Give your self permission to relax. Empty yourself, body, mind, and spirit. Surrender to the nothingness. Suspend your grasp on reality.

Just be.

Hints for success: Practice the same time each day. Create the opening. It doesn’t take long, it takes discipline. Practice in the same place, establishing a routine. One of my teachers suggested taking 2-3 minute intervals throughout the day where you stop and breath consciously. She said she would find a tree, and focus on that tree, imagining what it would be like to have roots that run deep into the earth, and branches that reach high into the sky, and bend with the breezes. She described it as strong, but calm, centered in peace.

Aside: I learned to meditate when my children were babies, which meant that the only place I could get any alone time was the bathroom. Meditating in the bathroom established a correlation that still exists today. Some of my best inspirations happen when I visit the bathroom.

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