Sisterly Love

It’s just a moth, I offered
that blue moon night
rattling windows
chafing nerves

We’d chosen exile –
sister and I – refuge
from family demons,
not ours to claim

Innocence borrows
responsibility – I bore
it like a badge;
she shattered

Could not discriminate
darkness from her own
inner light – sought
to end the fury

I’ll carry us both,
I murmured, too young
to recognize the magnitude –
altruism destined to fail.

She’s buried now
beneath the madness
her mind the moth
slamming against my pain.

(Image my own.)

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

44 thoughts on “Sisterly Love

  1. VJ we all handle childhood trauma differently …
    you are not your sister
    and although deeply sad
    you are also not her keeper.

    Let your open raw writing be cathartic, let go so healing can begin …you can only support as she allows. Your parents caused her pain, not you!

    powerful share, thanks 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Kate. I get all that and then there are days when I think about our youth and how close we were and I wonder what it was all about. You are right that we all handle it differently – I am one of six, all with very different stories and outcomes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. it’s sad really that that common ground gets lost along the way with differing versions of that family stuff … so let her know you are there for her and maybe one day she will appreciate that 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. Very powerful, VJ. And the metaphor of the moth describes the futile attempts at escape so well, one thinks of the fragility of the moth and how it so often gets burned by the light it seeks. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Maryam. People are reluctant to visit when you are under construction. Add an “about” page. Give your site a title. Make sure your posts have categories and tags.

      Like

  3. Past and recent family events are leaving me hurt and feeling alone-not sure when I’ll be able to see my infant granddaughter again. And my adult children are in pain, too. I feel everyone’s pain to some degree. As being a mom whose children endured pain from their father, with his passing now they are angry with me, I apologize and am so deeply sorry for what you, your sister you wrote about here, and the rest of your siblings for what you endured in your childhood. It’s not fair that some children have to go through such hard, dark lives only to be left to try to be functioning adults. Thank you for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable in one’s writing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am sorry you are going through this. You understand how the pain is not simply swept under the rug, but a day by day reminder of why we move forward. Thanks for your comment. Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

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