I would entertain confidence,
but here, on the edge of emotion
(others before self )
I am ungrounded.
I gesture kindness
(a shady, alluring reconciliation)
your heart unavailable
distracted and driven.
Pushed aside, I am
(non-conformist)
ostracized,
still raw.
I ponder relationships
(incensed and violated)
worthy of investigation –
these many sides of self.
Sidestepping social niceties
(I am righteously enraged)
personal indignation
makes for interesting dynamics.
Exile is hurtful,
unacceptable – I look
for a voice – pause –
your expectations a brick wall.
Obligations temporarily overloading,
executive functioning down,
my exterior collapses –
we fall out.
One Woman's Quest 