The Same, But Broken

Fragility blindsides me –
I am a strong woman,
not courageous
but accepting
in face of pain,
grief,
illness.

Fragility is pervasive –
body fibres stretched
and torn, on brink
of brokenness;
mind overwhelmed,
obsesses, unable to organize
or let go…

If only I could let go.

I am weeping and not –
weeping from frustration
of immediate impossibility;
unwilling to weep, for totality
of loss is beyond me.

Outside these walls,
life continues,
regards me with disgust/
indifference/repulsion –
equality ignores the ailing.

And, yet…

in this state of rawness,
stripped of busy-ness,
I am as any other –

Just a soul seeking
a meaningful existence.

(The Same, But Broken first appeared here December, 2014. This edition has been revised. Art my own.)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

27 thoughts on “The Same, But Broken”

  1. Pingback: The Same, But Broken – Nelsapy

  5. So beautiful, VJ. I hear you. This whole section resonated with me especially:

    “Outside these walls,
    life continues,
    regards me with disgust/
    indifference/repulsion –
    equality ignores the ailing.

    And, yet…

    in this state of rawness,
    stripped of busy-ness,
    I am as any other –

    Just a soul seeking
    a meaningful existence.”

    The whole thing is beautifully brave and vulnerable ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Laura. There are always blessings. Hubby and I (both in healing mode) have been watching marathon Christmas movies together – a first for us. Lots of light laughter.

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  9. Fragility frustrates – both physically and mentally. The mental impact likely the more debilitating … how to spin our attitudes toward enjoying “down time”? And disabilities? And the flood of advice from well-meaning who have no clue?

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