Nightmare

This malaise
this undeniable melancholy
product of isolation…
of an unreliable mind

What shadows awaken me?
a flash of car beams
or something more sinister?

Illness heightens sensitivity
I am set on ‘wired’ –
Internally running,
externally frozen

Sleep will not return
I don bravado
call out the ghosts
“Show yourself!”

Nothing.
Now I am raging –
“Who dares to disrupt slumber
then cowers in corners?”

Shadows grow eyes
and the walls undulate
a figure emerges
self in negative

I cower
pray I am delusional
mirrored self points downward
where floorboards recede

Skeletal remains
fill the earthen pit
nonsensical bones
of immortal pasts

Danger lurking
and I am not immune
the time has come
to submit…

(Image my own)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

52 thoughts on “Nightmare”

  4. Oh, VJ, you touched my heart with this one. The third stanza in particular spoke to me. I am recently coming out of a month long depression that was exacerbated by being treated for an allergy with steroids. That is exactly what it felt like: “set on ‘wired / Internally running, / external frozen” Mine was an acute condition; I cannot even imagine what it must be like to live with this as a chronic condition. Don’t you find that writing about it helps process it, though?

    Thank you so much for this poem. I am so sorry that you have to go through this to help others get through similar situations. But I am glad that you share.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Steroids are the worst, LuAnne. They do weird things to the mind. Writing has been my lifeline, and now art, when I’m able. It’s amazing how we adjust to what is (somedays, lol). Thanks so much for your kind words. Glad you are getting better.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I am so sorry for your pain. I am learning (and will never arrive completely on this earth) to walk in the valley of the shadow of death. Shadows need 3 things, light, something to block the light, and a surface to land on.

    Thank God for the light. Submit to the light.

    I wish I knew better how to paint light and shadow….your work is stunning!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I read your piece, “Nightmare,” and I have to acknowledge the compelling imagery and emotional depth in your writing. The vivid descriptions truly draw the reader into the unsettling atmosphere you’ve created. It’s evident that a lot of thought and feeling went into this piece, and I appreciate the rawness of it.

    Keep up the great work!

    Liked by 2 people

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