Paralysis

Paralysis desecrates floorboards
leaves me suspended…
the skeletons of lost dreams
sprawled out beneath me…
disordered

I am powerless
against the nightly haunts:
a dispirited youth
a righteous mother,
that lonesome child…

Judgment has a long shadow
and slits for eyes…
I don blinders –
tunnelled between
guilt and loathing

This onslaught,
this psychic terrorism
mocks my immobility
forces me to mine
forgotten pith

Survival, instinctual,
steels against the assault
raises prayer
as antidote

An armless attempt
to assert will over fear –
hoping strength restores
vulnerability’s war cry.

(Image mine)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

20 thoughts on “Paralysis”

    1. Thanks Liz. The first three years of this illness left me immobilized and bed bound. There was no more escaping into business or avoidance. It was fertile writing time.

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    1. Thanks Victoria. Hadn’t thought of it before, but your isolation of the line has me picturing my father, peering at me with disapproval over his lowered glasses. Thanks for that!

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  9. We are all, haunted, by things we know or, may not be, aware of, and, until we dig deep, into everything, find out the truths, and, resolve everything,and, if we don’t, fully, resolve our issues, then, they will, keep us bound, for life.

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