Discord

Does illness have a voice,
and if so; is it melancholy,
or dark and dank, divulging
deepest despair, or revealing
a vileness of nature?

Discord creeps along my veins,
disrupts muscles, systems failing
under the oppression –
“Stay strong,” friends counsel,
cannot hear the gathering storm,
feel the heaviness cloaking me.

I am not myself, but then;
who am I? Is disease a mutation
of the original sin – punishment
for fatal sins, or redemption
wrapped as trial – the whispers
gain clarity – I am faltering…

(Discord originally appeared here May, 2019. Image my own. Living with chronic, often debilitating disease, is an ongoing challenge. There is no cure, no end in sight, and yet, we must go on. This is for my fellow warriors, wondering, some days, what it is all about.)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

27 thoughts on “Discord”

  1. This moved me to tears. I read it out loud. I could say I send love and strength to you, but I know those are just words that do little to help. Know that I felt this, especially when you talk about sins and repercussions. Beautifully written, VJ. Each time. Each time.

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    1. That’s a good question Liz. I remember when working as a teacher that much of the chatter in the staffroom was dissing those with chronic conditions, as if every one was a scam to avoid work. Finding oneself on the other side of that equation is a dark hole.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I can relate to this, dear. You captured the voice of illness so well. Sometimes I give in and feel so melancholy, depressed but there is no way out. You have to get up and keep fighting on till the very last day.

    Liked by 3 people

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