Risk-taking equates with freedom,
an affirmation from my iced tea’s cap
manna, I decide – message welcome
encouragement in life choices apt.
An affirmation from my iced tea’s cap
I overlook the mass produced twist
encouragement in life choices apt
consumerism’s ploy I can’t resist.
I overlook the mass produced twist
sensibility to magic will succumb
consumerism’s ploy I can’t resist
Risk-taking equates with freedom
Sensibility to magic will succumb
empowered by assembly-line crap
risk-taking equates with freedom
inspired, my spirit does readily adapt.
Inspired, my spirit does readily adapt
sensibility to magic will succumb
even a message from a bottle cap
enough to risk in favour of freedom.
(This month dVerse poets are examining the Pantoum, a form I am finding difficult to follow, but willing to keep trying. I have rewritten the original Magic In a Bottle to fit this form.)
This is such an honest and poetic remark. I believe this is close and so so so beautifully written.
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Thank you so much! You made my morning.
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awww. good morning! 🙂 and you’re welcome!
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I’ve been playing with this form for a few days, too, V.J. and just don’t have it right. I try some more but might just post the original. I did enjoy your take on this poetic form.
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Thanks LuAnne. Not sure I got it right on this one, but it seems there are some variations.
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I noticed that, too. You could create a new variation (if yours doesn’t fit)!!!
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Even a bottle cap can inspire. Love this!
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Thanks Mary
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This is an interesting poem V. J. and very timely for me. I have been taking some little risks lately and I have realized that this risk taking has resulted in the freeing up of some parts of myself.
I will look up Pantoum. I did enjoy some of the patterns in your poem.
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Thanks Betty. If you are interested, the dVerse poets is also open to anyone.
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Those serendipitous messages…(even the ones manufactured by consumerism)…they can turn up just when we need them. (K)
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They can!
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Nice line with bottle cap rather than bottle: “even a message from a bottle cap”
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Powerful message packed in this poem…world needs this today to fight consumerism and to take refuge in things like freedom, poetry!
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Yes, poetry for sure!
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It’s a challenging form, for certain–BRAVO! I’m trying to think what product it was where I, too, had messages inside caps–was yours Snapple, by chance? Anyway, I like the message–and enjoy those little bright spots…even if they’re mass-produced 🙂
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Can’t remember what the product was to be honest.
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🙂
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Inspiration is often found in unexpected places VJ, sometimes it just is!
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I suppose so…till my cynicism kicks in, lol.
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i like how you curated the last quatrain – a splendid ending pulling all the thoughts together
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Thank you, Gina.
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I absolutely love this VJ! So well done!
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Appreciate it Bill
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My pleasure!
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This was a tough message to deliver in a pantoum form. May we overlook the mass produced twist, for creativity and freedom.
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Thanks Grace. It did take a bit of maneuvering.
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Consumerism’s ploy–so true. Not easy to write a pantoum that delivers this kind of message. Well done and perfect title.
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Thank you so much!
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That was a good pantoum! The repetition of the messages drove home the idea “Sensibility to magic will succumb” even if from a bottle cap. Magic is everywhere, like poetry.
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Thanks Susanne.
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You picked some tricky words to find rhymes for! I like the message in this magic bottle 🙂
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I did! Thanks for noticing Jane.
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May we all be blessed with resistance against those massproduced things
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Great way to suck us in, though, money wise.
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Fortune cookie messages are in the same category of mass-produced manna that can make one wonder why did I get this one. 🙂
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Oh, yes. They are a tradition! Can’t pooh pooh them!
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An enjoyable tone to your message, and to take a risk is an awesome relief….
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Thanks Ivor. Hope you are doing well. I am way behind in reading posts.
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That’s easy to do V. J, I’m always behind,.. I try not to worry too much, haha, I’m not a machine,….. I’m not sure how people ever keep up
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No. It’s crazy.
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Crazy is definitely the word, does that mean we are crazy or crazier too 😅🙄
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Well I can only speak for myself, and nuts is part of my last name (Knutson).
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Haha, yep, sometimes I think I’m nuts, the blogging world is definitely different.. 🤔
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