Message In a Bottle 2

Risk-taking equates with freedom, 
an affirmation from my iced tea’s cap
manna, I decide – message welcome
encouragement in life choices apt.

An affirmation from my iced tea’s cap
I overlook the mass produced twist
encouragement in life choices apt
consumerism’s ploy I can’t resist.

I overlook the mass produced twist
sensibility to magic will succumb
consumerism’s ploy I can’t resist
Risk-taking equates with freedom

Sensibility to magic will succumb
empowered by assembly-line crap
risk-taking equates with freedom
inspired, my spirit does readily adapt.

Inspired, my spirit does readily adapt
sensibility to magic will succumb
even a message from a bottle cap
enough to risk in favour of freedom.

(This month dVerse poets are examining the Pantoum, a form I am finding difficult to follow, but willing to keep trying. I have rewritten the original Magic In a Bottle  to fit this form.)


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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

44 thoughts on “Message In a Bottle 2”

  1. I’ve been playing with this form for a few days, too, V.J. and just don’t have it right. I try some more but might just post the original. I did enjoy your take on this poetic form.

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  2. This is an interesting poem V. J. and very timely for me. I have been taking some little risks lately and I have realized that this risk taking has resulted in the freeing up of some parts of myself.
    I will look up Pantoum. I did enjoy some of the patterns in your poem.

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  3. It’s a challenging form, for certain–BRAVO! I’m trying to think what product it was where I, too, had messages inside caps–was yours Snapple, by chance? Anyway, I like the message–and enjoy those little bright spots…even if they’re mass-produced 🙂

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  4. That was a good pantoum! The repetition of the messages drove home the idea “Sensibility to magic will succumb” even if from a bottle cap. Magic is everywhere, like poetry.

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