January’s Frost

As Mother counts her last days, and I open my heart to forgiveness, a daughter calls, reaming me out for wrong-doings – January is not cold enough to freeze tempers – family coals burn and shatter, and all we can pray for is metamorphosis.  Soon, I will return to warmer temperatures, attempting to elude this frigid climate, save the scorching for the sun.

Hearts have seasons too –
I lumber through chilled air,

crave a touch of warmth.

(A haibun for dVerse, hosted by Kim tonight.  I am also submitting this for Ragtag Community’s lumber, Fandango’s metamorphosis, and Manic Mondays 3 Way Prompt, shattered.)

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Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

61 thoughts on “January’s Frost

      1. Yes. I remember the last time I called and reamed my mother out, about 10 years ago. I remembered her age and her vulnerability and swore I would never do so again. And I didn’t.

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  1. I agree with Jane about the personal detail and the contrast between the spiky sharp cold and cactus heat.It isn’t easy when your mother is counting her last days – I remember that well. The words that chime with me are ‘January is not cold enough to freeze tempers – family coals burn and shatter’. All of that emotion is condensed into your haiku – yes, hearts have seasons too. I’m sending hugs, V.J.

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  2. Beautifully said. So sorry to know your daughter chose now to let loose. Children do that, no matter what the age. Never easy. Always hurtful. Perhaps they see a safe place, not knowing we need one too. Saying the goodbyes you have to say now…hard enough.

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      1. I don’t know V.J. I went from expecting my mom to care for me to needing to care for her (time I cherished I might add). With my own daughters all is well now but I know there is much they could take issue with. I seem to have come into myself now that they are grown. Odd sort of progression isn’t it.

        I’ve been away for a week or so but getting back and looking forward to catching up with your posts.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, hearts do have their season. Love that one’s heart is opening up to forgiveness and letting go despite the chilly reception. I hope this works for you: we can pray for is metamorphosis.

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  4. One day, ironically, that daughter will be where you are. Let’s hope she, too, can open her heart with forgiveness . Important message with this one.

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  5. Between ailing mother and disgruntled daughter is a dismal place to be. May the new year bring a lessening of stress with warmer climes, and blessed peace.

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  6. Sorry to hear about your mother but happy you are with her. When my mother was dying I was there and I believe though she couldn’t speak that she was glad. She was semi-conscious, not really responsive and I read to her, thinking my voice could bring comfort and I could keep myself engaged. Sorry about your daughter adding to the grief.

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  7. Families are strange. There does seem to be a lot of tense energies around at present. I had trouble with a daughter this week too. It leaves an unpleasant taste in the mouth. I like how you turn it around by dreaming of warmer climates and happier days.

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  8. Glad to hear your mother appreciates your presence…hope fully your daughter will too! NO, January is not cold enough to freeze tempers or melt hearts, unfortunately. Take care of yourself 🙂

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  9. Very effective the way winter mirrors your emotions in this piece. I especially love…. “January is not cold enough to freeze tempers” . Sometimes we just have to take care of ourselves…..to cope with the rest. Take care, V.J.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. An incredible haibun. It speaks to different levels of life. The heart having seasons….excellent! I am a daughter of a 98 year old woman who only shows a bit of forgetfulness….but she strikes like a viper. I had hoped that advanced age would gentle her, but it hasn’t. “January not cold enough to freeze tempers”. That will be tossing my brain for days.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Opening your heart to forgiveness can be like opening your heart to the warmth of the sun. As a daughter, reading this gave me pause and I called my mum today. Thank you for your beautiful words and insight.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I’m diving in to the cycles you weave: generations, mothers and daughters, hot and cold, winter and summer, hurt and forgiveness. May the warmth come sooner than you expect.

    Liked by 1 person

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