I have tried to be pragmatic,
to adopt a religious perspective,
even found potential in support,
driven myself to make peace
be a model for my family,
a yet, no amount of contriving
can help me get over
the incest thing.
Dirty secrets
define our family
support ugly cliques
fearful of helpful outsiders
questioning probability
of untainted providers
dubious of alliances –
a sense of humour,
our only strategy –
we united psychologically
divorced ourselves from evils
projected into outer circles
confined to chaos
If I married my paranoia
to a more thoughtful version
of self, would that create
a calming union?
could it be that we are born
with checks and balances,
and is it even legit
to presuppose that balance
is achievable, and what about
partners – don’t they bring
their own amount of excitable
energy to the mix, and
how then is equilibrium
supported?
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One Woman's Quest 
Yes and yes and why and it’s a beautiful poetic question. Honestly I’ve found peace in writing and being more open about the whole thing. The older I get the easier it seems. And other days there’s nothing easy about it. Love this.
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Thanks E. Writing is so powerful – and then, sometimes what emerges is disturbing – I just try to go with it, and hope it is therapeutic.
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