Yesterday, I decided to pretend that the disease I suffer is not present. Just for one night I wanted to take a break, be normal, live life. I am not talking big risks here people! I am just talking a night of t.v. watching like in the old days, before I got sick.
“I’m still lying down, right?” I convinced myself, hunkering in under the sheets. “What can it hurt?” That was 7:00 p.m. At 11:00, I turned off the noise and distraction and retreated into sleep.
3:00 am the first repercussion hit me – constricted airways, choking for breath. I staggered to the bathroom and my inhaler, then tried to go back to sleep.
No deal. My overstimulated brain was locked on wired – replaying the details of the shows I’d watched over and over, like an ongoing, unsolvable debate.
I got up and made myself tea, and noticing a pronounced weakness, allowed my walker to support me. I had overdone it.
I eventually fell back to sleep just after dawn, and now just coming up to noon, I have managed to get myself dressed.
Why is it so hard for me to learn this lesson? My body/ mind/ emotions/ spirit have, through the vessel of this disorder (ME/CFS), sent me a clear and profound message:
P..A..U..S..E..!
So life, forgive me for opting out of participation right now – I am taking a sabbatical.
One Woman's Quest 
Horrifying isn’t it with this illness how something as simple as too much TV can make you so violently ill. I hope the symptoms subside for you soon and you’re able to get back to your normal life-rhythms.
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Thanks for your kind words. I heard one specialist say that the recovery for this disease is ‘trial and error’, that is so true.
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Thank you for your reply. I am sorry I didn’t respond sooner – still learning all this techie stuff. Illness brings a whole new learning curve to life – and while it has its downs, I am discovering a lot of good things also. How long have you been living with illness?
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