Clothing

I would befriend hesitation,
take her shopping with me,
invest the time,
but impulse
is my constant companion.

Hesitation,
born of shared trauma,
labours over pain-filled decisions

My need is palpable,
throbbing,
must suffocate it,
weighted beneath
layers of numbing fabric

Afraid to show myself,
afraid that she will find me,
block any progress,
or worse

make my pay for these layers
of stolen moments…
encounter crazy reflected in her eyes

(Poem first appeared here June 2016. This version has been edited. Image my own)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

25 thoughts on “Clothing”

  5. Such emotion-packed poem and painting. My desk top computer will be in hospital for the first few days of next week. I will therefore be unable to read your posts. I will comment on your responses to my posts on my laptop

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  8. we are always in battle, with these parts of our own selves, and somettimes, when these sides of us want to come out, and we don’t want them to, we struggle, to keep our minds, sane, and sometimes we succeed, and sometimes, we, fail, but, that’s okay, because we are, humans.

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