Mermaids have the best of life,
she’d tell anyone who’d listen –
castles deep on ocean’s floor,
and watery skies that glisten
I’d give up all my earthly wealth
for a lifetime of Poseidon’s riches –
swap my legs for fins, if I could be
a royal princess among the fishes.
Once upon a moonbeam
her simple wish took hold
climbed up to the milky way
and watched the stars unfold
She wants to be immortal,
Night whispered to the Moon,
to live a fairytale existence,
without suffering or gloom.
The Great Orb nodded in consent
and turned her face upon the asker –
granted her gills, tiara and jewels,
then encapsulated her in plaster.
(Lillian is hosting at dVerse tonight and asks us to start a poem with “Once upon a…”. I have to confess I had no luck starting that way, but I did put it in the middle. I’m also linking up with Willow Poetry’s challenge: What Do You See?
Photo courtesy of Hélène from Willow Poetry.)
Oh my goodness, your imagination is amazing V.J. Incredible poem, The Great Orb now has her for keeps.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Watch what you wish for, lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s right….spooky when you think of it…lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
perfect! once upon a moonbeam, maybe that will be the mermaid’s magic spell. love that stanza so much, it tied the entire poem together
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh good… thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not sure it was the fairy tale existence she was hoping for! I love the last line.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha …well it was “ever after”.
LikeLike
her future is pretty much set in stone (so to speak) now!
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLike
Very clever and nicely penned!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Actually, I really like that the “once upon a” was placed where it was – it really added an new complexity to the tale; it adds a great depth and weight to this … makes the reader completely fall into the story even more … and allows for a narrative shift too ….
so brava – well done at marrying a “two for one” and really making it work, without detracting or calling undue attention to itself (nothing worse than something “slogged in and sticking out like a sore thumb) . … and after all the technical – this is wonderful tale/tail? mermaid wishes and dreams, indeed. And oddly enough, it also brings to my mind, the image of Medusa – but I prefer this story to hers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so sweet Pat. I agree – it was too stilted to put it at the beginning. I appreciate the encouragement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you’ve worded it very well 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great Story! Sometimes what we wish for turns out to be very different form what we anticipated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Often I think. Thanks Dwight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My granddaughter is all about mermaids. Maybe I can share this with her, and forego that last line. It would break her little 4 yr old heart. An enjoyable poem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My granddaughters too. Definitely not the last line, lol. Thanks Maggie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exquisite, a wonderful piece of imagery and imagination.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
I love such imagination!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once upon a moonbeam….love it! Okay…..you’re forgiven the middle placement because as someone else says…it really works! 🙂 LOVE the twist in the end….and that wise old Orb nodding in consent….knowing what was coming.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Thanks Lillian. I wrestled with it, but it worked out in the end. (Well not for the dreamer)
LikeLike
Wow. I love this amazing masterpiece, VJ. I love daydreaming about this stuff and you perfectly put it into words. Wow!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Ragazza!
LikeLike
We have desires and dreams. Oh, there is always a price. Wonderful poem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Mary.
LikeLike
Love the idea of a wish climbing the Milky Way. Makes me wonder about where our wishes do go. If thoughts have power, maybe wishes do also.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why not? Thanks Olga.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Metaphysically, nothing can fully occur until a thought is expressed in words; words matter–that’s what they keep telling the Trumpette. I enjoyed the obvious fun you had with the piece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Except the Trumpette is deaf apparently, lol. Thanks Glenn.
LikeLike
kaykuala
Mermaids have the best of life,
she’d tell anyone who’d listen –
castles deep on ocean’s floor,
and watery skies that glisten
The opening stanza is a perfect lead to the rest spiced with warm and tenderness!
Hank
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Hank!
LikeLike
You drew me into this picture with your words. Her wish is pure and heartfelt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love it all VJ- But really love the stanza starting with she wants to be immortal…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you…
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is the story retold in a new way, i always liked the bittersweet version better than the Disney one
LikeLiked by 1 person
Disney has products to sell, lol.
LikeLike
Oh my goodness. Careful what you wish for! Great read!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha – yes. Thanks
LikeLike
That puts a new perspective on the fairytale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha- it does. Thanks Frank
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a wonderful cautionary tale. Very creative use of the prompt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Teresa. A fun one.
LikeLike
Lovely write and rhythm. The narrative is very engaging. The ending came with a big jolt. Really well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Imelda!
LikeLike
Excellent and very creative. The last line is pure class, love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Bernie!
LikeLike
Imagination at its best…brilliant..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant writing and I love your creativity! Thank you for following BrewNSpew.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome and thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s supremely beautiful. 🙂 I’ve not thought much of mermaids for a long time. However, recently I’ve come to cherish their dreamy nature and the promise they radiate. I might also have whispered a wish or two of mine in their ears…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha – I have three granddaughters – mermaids are the bomb around here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s funny. I don’t have kids or grandkids, so I needed to discover them all by myself. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your inner child will be pleased.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is. Happy as a clam. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person