(Note: I am revisiting old posts, trashing the unimpressive, and where possible, editing. This is an edited version of an earlier poem. Visit the original here.)
Pervasive fragility
blindsides – reduced
to stretched and torn
fibers – I teeter, mind
obsessed, overwhelmed
I am weeping…and not,
frustrated by impossibility
unwilling to face loss –
cannot let go – life passes
regards me with disgust/
indifference/ repulsion,
I am dispensable, invalid
raw, enraged, strength
obliterated, courage gone,
just a soul, stripped of life
craving meaningful existence.
One Woman's Quest 
I feel a sense of tightrope balance … good work
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Thank you so much! Thanks for dropping by – you have a knack for poetry that I admire.
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Thank you so much…
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Like both versions, but second one is much tighter. Did you decide on that form before the re-write?
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The first one felt too loose – too wordy. Efficiency of words is what I’ve been going for lately, however; I was aware that the changes altered meaning and shifted focus, which was not necessarily a bad thing – just interesting.
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Bit of a balancing act isn’t it, if you compress too much, the poem can become opaque.
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All experimental really…
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Love it! Great stuff! You’ve got my follow. Check out my comedy blog and give it a follow if you like it!
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Thanks for the encouragement. Checked out your blog – love the lighthearted banter. Will follow.
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No problem and thank you I’m glad you liked it!
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