The house we have moved into is old and on closer inspection has many more rooms than we had initially understood. It is a pleasant surprise and I am wondering what we will do with all this extra space, when I notice that the back door is broken: there is a problem with the lock.
I awaken, my heart racing.
“The back door is unlocked again,” I jokingly tell my husband. It has become an ongoing theme in my dreams, and one I fail to grasp.
So what is the back door? Interestingly, we have purchased an older home, and while it doesn’t have extra rooms such as the ones in my dream, it does come with an additional building we had not anticipated: a bomb shelter. It is difficult not to notice the parallel to my dreams. Our new home is one of hope for a better life, security, and maybe one day, retirement.
So, why the difficulty with the back door?
The back door isn’t the entrance that is used by guests or even ourselves, for the most part. It is purely the entrance to the back yard. Our back yard is private. A place where family and friends will gather; a place of solitude and escape.
In terms of the psyche, I always think of the backyard as being what the public doesn’t see – private lives, or maybe even the past.
Aha, I think. No matter how much I move on in life, or tell myself I’ve moved on, it isn’t escape if the back door isn’t secured.
Could it be that my dreams are telling me that the only way to enjoy my present is to find a way to lock out the past?