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Day 130 “Inner Silence”

The thoughts inside my head are debilitating right now, paralyzing me.  There is no silence, only a constant swirling of I should, what if, how, why, and don’t forget to……. 

There is no progress amidst all this noise.  Life is too in my face at the moment, and I feel like I can’t breathe.

I used to know how to do this:  feet on the floor, breathe deeply.

A vision of my husband, recovering from yet another surgery floats into my mind, and with it emotional panic.  I can’t help him like this, I remind myself.

And breathe again.

The clutter of the house closes in around me.  I have let things go.

The more the mind races, the less you get done…..I know, I know…..

Breathe.  Find your quiet place.  Let the extraneous go, for this moment, in this moment.  Breathe.

My chest expands, pushing through the tightness that has resided there these past months.  I follow the breath deeper, into my belly, reconnect with my core strength.  Surrender to stillness….

The sound of my breath, my heart beating, and the safety of a vast inner nothingness…..

Suspended consciousness….

ecstatic….

I float…..

ahhhhh……..

peace.