Discourse on Love

Gathered up all the love
I’d previously rejected
pulled it to me
like a well-worn cloak
Imagined the comfort
such a vibration would bring
oblivion amounting to bliss

But love –
my interpretation of it –
does not nullify pain
And I writhed in its intensity
pain physically ingrained
burdened by memories

How can this be? I cried
In darkness I turned to love
projected nirvana
uncovered such an ache

Rejection, I surmise
allots protection
Love reveals
source of suffering
depth of denial
neglect of self

I’ve conjured only what-ifs
and could-have-beens
deluded attempts at restoration

Love does not dwell
in fantastical places
but here, in the moment,
when wide-eyed, I embrace
what is, walls down
vulnerability inviting compassion.

(Art mine)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

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