How can we speak of desire when needs, unmet
ravage our sense of survival – we’ll regret
this wanton display – flames subside but hunger
remains – the body’s priorities reset.
Perhaps it’s the soul that stirs when you are near –
Spirit longing to overcome mundane fear –
as if the intertwining of flesh equates
with mortal release – quick come to me, my dear.
(Written for dVerse poetics, where we are examining poetic forms. This week, hosted by Frank, we are challenged to write a Rubaiyat. To find out more, click on the link.)
Moving.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Very good
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jazz – no idea where it came from but it worked with the form, lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like this VJ. “…the intertwining of flesh…” They call it the little death.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, I should have worked that in
LikeLike
Le Petit Mort?
Ouí!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mais oui!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That pretty much exhausts my knowledge of the French language.
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol. You started it!
LikeLike
“Spirit longing to overcome mundane fear –” so beautifully said. i like the way you put this together
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I’m never sure about these forms
LikeLiked by 1 person
the difference between desire and need with well chosen words
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Gina
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant! I love this one. “Perhaps it’s the soul that stirs…” You nailed it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
There’s a sense of satire in this, a mocking of mere flesh. Well done!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are right about that. Appreciate the recognition
LikeLike
Well Done V.J.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Different for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice line: “Spirit longing to overcome mundane fear”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Frank.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your poetics are so sweet, the form, which was well done, is nearly invisible. A love poem or a satire? Perhaps both.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Likely more satire, lol. Thanks for the positive feedback.
LikeLike
That moment when we are consumed beyond the reality of the mundane.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes…I have vague memories…lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sweetness twining with realities …like the body’s priorities reset. Enjoyed the rubaiyat poem, thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Grace.
LikeLike
I love how you closed this… the desire building up to that call… to me it seems like desire wins in the end… ( I think it does)… we have been told it’s bad, a wanton wish… but surrendering is always sweet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It certainly can override the brain…thanks for the feedback Björn. I was uncertain about the ending.
LikeLike
Such a sweet poem, and a lovely rendering of this poetic form.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, LuAnne. Out of my wheelhouse
LikeLike
Oh my! If you were sitting here with me right now, you would have heard a big sigh and the whispered “ohhhh” escape my lips at reading’s end here. That last stanza is so romantic…heartfelt. Oh my ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are sweet Lillian. So glad you liked it.
LikeLike
Like the enjambment here, very clever……when read out loud it avoids that bumpity bumpity thing that sometimes happens with these rhyming forms.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jim. I am so adverse to rhyme for that reason.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the abrupt ending, mimicking the spontaneity of desire itself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I was reaching for that effect.
LikeLike
There are desires and then there are desires. English is full of words that need context. You use that well. (K)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. English does provide opportunities for twists.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sensually sly, VJ. Love this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never know what lurks behind grey hair, lol.
LikeLike
I never know what lurks underneath blonde hair!
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLike