Grains

There are shores that remain
ever-etched upon my heart –
emotional tides that tug
and carry me, currents
of past revelations –

I remember drowning
in the swells of loneliness
always the outsider, the grains
of this sentimentality
still shredding my adult soul.

(Borrowed from my former Twitter page. Image my own)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

30 thoughts on “Grains”

  1. I wonder often, is it a feeling of not belonging, or just that we are alone within ourselves? While I think we feel connected in so many ways to people, our surroundings and in situations, on the daily we are still separated. Gorgeous image, I like that it captures the feeling of being alone while being surrounded.

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  2. I adore your painting. Been there, am there, God is always there with me.

    “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
    If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
    When I awake, I am still with You.” Psalm 139:17-18

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  5. I look at your sea metaphor and the grains of the title and think of getting rolled in the surf – sand suddenly in every orifice. If only we could wash away those negative memories as easily as we rinse off the beach.

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    1. Agree. Fifteen months ago today, a revelation in the form of a group text message with my five sisters exposed what I’d spent a lifetime struggling to understand. All was made clear in just a few choice words and at that moment, I walked away. Peace of mind but still, the rejection hurts, the realization that I’ve never been accepted or embraced by any of them and likely never will.

      A beautiful piece, VJ. Thank you for sharing.

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  11. These are the, memories that bring us pains, the ones we, desperate want to, lose, but, we will, never be able to, as they’d formed us into, who we are, and, we can only, try and, work through them, best as we can, hoping that one day soon, we will, wake up, and, they don’t, cause any aort of a, reaction in us anymore…

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