This pedestal of responsibility
has elevated me, out of reach,
out of touch – lumps together
children, mate, mother, sister…
Caregiver extraordinaire
present overcrowded by
obligations…am unwell,
off topic, fed up, surely…
I am other abled, have room
for more – not martyr related –
hesitant to plan, my purpose
for being so intricately tuned
to the needs of others, should
quit while I’m ahead – silence
the inner nag – free us all
from this unhealthy game.
(This poem first appeared on One Woman’s Quest II
in September, 2016. Edited here. Image my own.)
Beautifully written! Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Thanks 🙏
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wow so very relieved this is an ‘old’ one VJ, feel your sense of overwhelmed!
Nice to revisit these to see how far you’ve come … responsibility is tough but we are each responsible only for ourselves, we can support others but ultimately they still need to take responsibility for themselves ..
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Well said, Kate. Took me a while to figure that out.
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but you did, smiling here … treat yourself, you deserve it!
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😘
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Being a caretaker has its rewards but when the need is gone, it is like going through withdrawal and there is a sense of loss.
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It’s true. Thanks Eugi
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Most welcome!
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May I post this on my website? All attributions will be directed to you and your Blog.
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Of course. Thank you for honouring me.
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Responsibility is a heavy load, but it sounds like you know your role. It’s a delicate balance. Thanks for posting.
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Thank you.
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Oh how I get this! Am slowly learning to extricate myself after decades of caregiving. Defined by caregiving? Yes, for over time it becomes ingrained within one’s reason for being, which is not healthy for sure. Some things I would do differently now, but that’s the wisdom of hindsight. You have written with an understanding that others like myself appreciate very much.
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Thanks so much Carol. It takes time to accept that our wholeness allows for other selves.
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Wonderful! What a beautiful sunset or sunrise.
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Thanks 🙏
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Ah, yes. I get this too. Pulling back from that caregiver role can be like drug withdrawal. It can be so hard to keep from going back. But when you’re “intricately tuned to the needs of others,” it can border on excruciating. Leaving us twisting in the wind. Excellent post.
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Thanks Andrea. When I became ill and could no longer help, it was excruciating.
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Thanks for sharing
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Beautiful!
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Thanks 🙏
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Deep post! Taking care of someone puts a great pressure and burden on us even if we are happy to do it. And often we forget to take care of ourselves then. Like the way you wrote this one!
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Thanks Benjamin.
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Welcome!
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Oh my this spoke to me. I was my Mother’s carer for 12 years….she died 5 years ago…and I am only now just fully recovering…although having said that not sure that I ever really will. Thank you……:)
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Hard to redefine ourselves, isn’t it? Perhaps we save the best and discard what no longer serves?
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I agree
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I wonder if we are hard wired to be the caregiver and if in some situations we take that on whether the receiver wants it or not?? Thought provoking poem.
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I think so, for sure. Thanks Heather.
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Welcome.
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It’s interesting how care-giving seems to come in waves, consuming all thought, time … till a “dry spell” interrupts and we “givers” feel lost, unneeded. Not sure about freeing us all from the “game” … “givers” are essential … but definitely a balance/constraint issue!
Good post.
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Thanks Jazz. I had to learn, over time, that as long as I was willing to take responsibility for everyone, I was robbing them of their own autonomy. In a co-dependent sense, anyway. Caring for others in a non-toxic way is another thing.
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You make an important distinction.
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