A COVID-19 Easter

The clouds donned a veil today
robins foraged on thirsty ground
while a trio of doves swept by

Of course, that’s poetic nonsense –
an attempt at finding beauty
in what is really a grey reality.

Nations hunker in against the threat
and Easter morning arrived
without the fanfare of egg hunts
or children’s raised voices –
certainly not the bonnets, gloves
and scratchy dresses of youth.

But that’s how life is, isn’t it?
Compass set on determination
and before we know it, currents
shift, and we are headed into
the unknown once again.

I donned a grey veil today,
thoughts clouded by chirp-less gloom
could not lift my head to find the sky

This is the nature of hopelessness
to find one’s self confined without
power to alter the course –

This is the struggle before resignation
at worst; acceptance, at best, and
either in time for the next tidal change.

(Too dark, my husband says, can you change the ending?  Make it more hopeful.
It’s implicit in the ending, I counter.  Maybe not.  It is how I am feeling after so many days of trying to stay positive.  But here’s what I know:  I have been in this place before – emotionally immobilized and overwhelmed – and I’ve always found my way out.  Writing helps.  Meditation, walks in nature, and a good laugh do too.  I share this here today, so that you know you’re not alone in what you are feeling.  I share it as one who knows that to reflect upon and acknowledge personal turmoil is better than to suppress it.  I share this with the commitment to ride this current wave, openly and honestly, so that when it’s all over we have a true of record of this time in history, from a personal perspective, anyway.  Thanks for reading.)

 

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

52 thoughts on “A COVID-19 Easter”

  2. The poem was dark as your husband said and I too hoped it would end on a positive note but the explanation at the end made perfect sense – its important to let it out and its important to record your feeling as it is. Its part of who we are. Thank you for sharing this VJ

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  6. This chapter in our lives is tiresome and worrisome, but there are more chapters to come. Chapters full of challenges and chapters full of joy, a lot of which we have some control. Whatever control I have over my life, I’m going to make it positive. I’ve been through more difficult times than this and learned being positive is necessary to move forward. Sending blessings and hugs to you and your family, V.J.

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    1. Thanks Eugi. It’s not so much the isolation – I’ve lived that for years – it’s the potential loss of lives, the inability to help those who are suffering. As others have indicated, I am tired of coming back from all the loss. That said, I know I will rally. Life provides many blessings to help us recover. Thanks for your thoughts.

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  7. Yes, I think this goes back and forth from positive to negative, to poetically beautiful to more realistic (which seems to hold a gloomy beauty if such a thing is possible), and the end could definitely be seen as hopeful or maybe not hopeful also. The “tidal change” could go either way. But that’s life. Things often tend get better but they don’t always have to. It’s interesting to see how everyone deals with the same event differently. It shows us something about human nature, something about emotions, something about truth. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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  8. I feel you. It’s hard to stay positive all the time but that’s what makes us humans and like you once told me that’s ok too. 🙂
    I think you are right the ending does have a positive (or maybe a hopeful) connotation. Together we’ll wait for the tidal change.

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  11. Loved that you didn’t change a word. Would’ve been disrespectful to the truth of the matter. There are times that the only thing that helps for such a state of mind is to say it as it is and not put a prettier face on it. We can’t bear a lie.

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  14. Thank you V.J. for articulating my feelings, on so many levels, with this poem. I try to keep positive, but so often…
    “I donned a grey veil today,
    thoughts clouded by chirp-less gloom
    could not lift my head to find the sky”
    Yet I am hopeful for a …”tidal change”

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  15. Well, I appreciate acknowledging when it feels oh so dark. And hopeless. Because, at times these days, it certainly does feel that way. The current overwhelm is triggering – for many – the emotional immobilization you describe. Knowing we are not alone does help – as you say. Suppressing inner turmoil…while it may make others more comfortable…is not helpful in the long run. Acceptance will come, but I wonder – at what price? Thank you for sharing this.

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  19. Positive is a balancing act, right? Challenges seem preparation for something more demanding, life a continual growth through trial. This COVID experience is different from anything I’ve known before given its scope (worldwide!) and severity. But it isn’t the first pandemic. It won’t be the last pandemic. With luck, it’ll be the only one you and I experience. I expect to lose loved ones, and this is hard to face with any positive vibes. Yet, on a broader scale, I see this potentially reshaping human behavior in positive ways – showing us our common vulnerability and oneness across politics and cultures and geographies. Witnessing history happening, its course still TBD … your closing stanza feels right-on to me, VJ. Thank you for articulating so clearly.

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    1. Jazz, you touch on the complexity of this situation. The breaking down of borders – the universal experience – is quite miraculous really (or perhaps humbling is the term). TBD is right. I pray we learn from this experience and reset in favour of humanity

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  20. Yes definitely V.J…… hopelessness is powerfully tiresome and overwhelming….
    ” But here’s what I know: I have been in this place before – emotionally immobilized and overwhelmed – and I’ve always found my way out. Writing helps. Meditation, walks in nature, and a good laugh do too.”……….. but I’m older, I’m tired, and I’d rather not go back to my hard days, and not have to try and recover again…… I’ll just go hide in the corner and write another poem of nonsense…. xx

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