Not for the weak of heart, this watery confinement –
with brine-coated tongues and surly dispositions, went
the submarine crew to their depths, braved the absence
of daylight, sold their souls to Poseidon’s entombment.
Some say it was the fumes, sulphurous as Hell’s own funk
that warped the minds of hardy men, robbed them of their spunk –
tales of lily-white maidens, whose melodic tunes wiled,
lured spirits from their nests, lifeless corpses in their bunk.
(This form, inspired by Willow Poetry’s What Do You See? challenge – the image provided – is a Rubayait, written for dVerse pub.)
Reblogged this on Alessandria today @ Pier Carlo Lava.
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The world becomes modern, but the myths remain. Great atmosphere. (K)
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Thanks K!
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Nice description: “braved the absence
of daylight, sold their souls to Poseidon’s entombment”
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Glad you liked that line Frank.
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Excellent read, V.J., one I enjoyed reading more than once.
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Well that’s a great compliment. Thank you!
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I see those pesky sirens got you writing, too. lol Great poem. I’ve never heard of a Rubayait. I’m going to check it out now!
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Yes, those pesky sirens have me writing in rhyme – who knew, lol.
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brilliant! an amalgamation of well know tales flowing through watery depths – a classic V.J
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Thank you, Gina.
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Well done! You managed that thirteen syllable beat very well. It’s difficult.
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Yes, it is, but I had fun doing it. Thanks Jane
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🙂
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The writing style is truly incredible!
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Thank you so much!
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I like the mixture of lyricism, horror, and the sort of conversational tone–like sit down, everyone, and listen to my tale. 🙂
That painting is creepy, especially because the sailors are smiling.
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I know – isn’t it. Glad the creepy came through in the poem. Thanks for the comments
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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The imagery is phenomenal V.J. Rubayait is a challenging form, congratulations to you for writing a sumptuous poem.
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It is challenging. Thanks for the encouragement
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You are welcome V.J.
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Love your word play, and I see what you mean by taking a similar bent, some synergy there.
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Thanks, Paul. We were in sync
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Yes, 🙂
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Love the alliteration throughout. The mood and tone is dark, almost horror. It gives weight to the mythical subject. Nice 😊
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Thank you Sophia and I must say, nice to have encountered you here.
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Some great sensory images; brine-coated tongues, sulphurous as Hell’s own funk,
lily-white maidens, whose melodic tunes wiled. The juxtaposition works so well.
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Thanks, Heather. Fun one to write
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You’re welcome!
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