Maybe

Maybe I just needed a new perspective –
like the famed Hanged Man of tarot –
committed to some deep, internal need,
willed a horizontal shift, landed with intent.

Maybe it is not my legs that are disabled,
but a soul longing to escape the continual
discord of perpetual motion, a never-ending
to-do list of the success driven persona.

Maybe there is a greater purpose for being
that is not encompassed by outer drive –
a mysterious meaning that is revealed only
in the quiet stillness in which I now dwell.

Maybe I have been called to a personal
pilgrimage – a Camino of sorts, a crusade
of spirit designed to cleanse and enlighten –
the journey is certainly arduous enough.

Maybe it is through acceptance, finally
having released  a need to control, move,
achieve, accomplish that I am able to
embrace the true lessons of suffering.

Maybe this cocooning is an act of Grace
demanding surrender before the actual
transformation occurs, and I will emerge
legless or not, winged and ready to soar.

Maybe, just maybe, this stripped down,
barren existence is not a penance for
shameful living, but a desert crossing,
offering re-alignment, hard-fought peace.

(Maybe first appeared here in February of 2017, three years into my journey with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.  I am posting it today as it fits with this week’s theme: upside-down.  Image is the mirror reflection of trees across the canal – from personal collection)

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VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

21 thoughts on “Maybe”

  2. Ah, isn’t it ironic that the difficulties are what brings us greatness. Your meditation brings to my mind the Christian teaching that suffering, united with Christ’s, brings Grace. It is, in fact, painful as it may be, a gift.
    Your last stanzas soars and sings.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I really…really hear this piece. The never ending to do list. Acceptance. Cocooning. Desert crossing.
    Hope runs through this. When it might otherwise not – as acceptance can be often misconstrued as giving up. When it is definitely isn’t.
    Thanks for sharing this (again!)

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  7. This poem is so time-appropriate for us in the Midwest who are “cocooning” during these days of brutal cold weather. I want to continue to ponder this idea you present in “Maybe this cocooning is an act of Grace / demanding surrender before the actual / transformation occurs…” There is so much wisdom in these words; I think I can relate at many levels.

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  9. Packed with wisdom – especially:
    Maybe I have been called to a personal
    pilgrimage – a Camino of sorts, a crusade
    of spirit designed to cleanse and enlighten –
    the journey is certainly arduous enough.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. This is so beautiful V.J.! I especially love the last part, “Maybe, just maybe, this stripped down, barren existence is not a penance for shameful living, but a desert crossing, offering re-alignment, hard-fought peace.” This one really touched my soul.

    Liked by 3 people

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