Mermaids have the best of life,
she’d tell anyone who’d listen –
castles deep on ocean’s floor,
and watery skies that glisten
I’d give up all my earthly wealth
for a lifetime of Poseidon’s riches –
swap my legs for fins, if I could be
a royal princess among the fishes.
Once upon a moonbeam
her simple wish took hold
climbed up to the milky way
and watched the stars unfold
She wants to be immortal,
Night whispered to the Moon,
to live a fairytale existence,
without suffering or gloom.
The Great Orb nodded in consent
and turned her face upon the asker –
granted her gills, tiara and jewels,
then encapsulated her in plaster.
(Lillian is hosting at dVerse tonight and asks us to start a poem with “Once upon a…”. I have to confess I had no luck starting that way, but I did put it in the middle. I’m also linking up with Willow Poetry’s challenge: What Do You See?
Photo courtesy of Hélène from Willow Poetry.)
It’s supremely beautiful. 🙂 I’ve not thought much of mermaids for a long time. However, recently I’ve come to cherish their dreamy nature and the promise they radiate. I might also have whispered a wish or two of mine in their ears…
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Ha ha – I have three granddaughters – mermaids are the bomb around here.
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That’s funny. I don’t have kids or grandkids, so I needed to discover them all by myself. 🙂
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Your inner child will be pleased.
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It is. Happy as a clam. 🙂
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Brilliant writing and I love your creativity! Thank you for following BrewNSpew.
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You are welcome and thank you.
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Imagination at its best…brilliant..
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Thank you so much.
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Excellent and very creative. The last line is pure class, love it!
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Thanks so much Bernie!
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Lovely write and rhythm. The narrative is very engaging. The ending came with a big jolt. Really well done.
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Thank you so much, Imelda!
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What a wonderful cautionary tale. Very creative use of the prompt.
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Thanks Teresa. A fun one.
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That puts a new perspective on the fairytale.
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Haha- it does. Thanks Frank
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Oh my goodness. Careful what you wish for! Great read!
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Ha ha – yes. Thanks
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This is the story retold in a new way, i always liked the bittersweet version better than the Disney one
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Disney has products to sell, lol.
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I love it all VJ- But really love the stanza starting with she wants to be immortal…
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Thank you…
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You drew me into this picture with your words. Her wish is pure and heartfelt.
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Thanks.
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kaykuala
Mermaids have the best of life,
she’d tell anyone who’d listen –
castles deep on ocean’s floor,
and watery skies that glisten
The opening stanza is a perfect lead to the rest spiced with warm and tenderness!
Hank
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Thanks Hank!
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Metaphysically, nothing can fully occur until a thought is expressed in words; words matter–that’s what they keep telling the Trumpette. I enjoyed the obvious fun you had with the piece.
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Except the Trumpette is deaf apparently, lol. Thanks Glenn.
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Love the idea of a wish climbing the Milky Way. Makes me wonder about where our wishes do go. If thoughts have power, maybe wishes do also.
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Why not? Thanks Olga.
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We have desires and dreams. Oh, there is always a price. Wonderful poem!
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Thanks, Mary.
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Wow. I love this amazing masterpiece, VJ. I love daydreaming about this stuff and you perfectly put it into words. Wow!
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Thanks Ragazza!
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Once upon a moonbeam….love it! Okay…..you’re forgiven the middle placement because as someone else says…it really works! 🙂 LOVE the twist in the end….and that wise old Orb nodding in consent….knowing what was coming.
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Lol. Thanks Lillian. I wrestled with it, but it worked out in the end. (Well not for the dreamer)
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I love such imagination!
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Thank you.
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Exquisite, a wonderful piece of imagery and imagination.
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Thank you!
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My granddaughter is all about mermaids. Maybe I can share this with her, and forego that last line. It would break her little 4 yr old heart. An enjoyable poem!
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My granddaughters too. Definitely not the last line, lol. Thanks Maggie.
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Great Story! Sometimes what we wish for turns out to be very different form what we anticipated.
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Often I think. Thanks Dwight.
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Actually, I really like that the “once upon a” was placed where it was – it really added an new complexity to the tale; it adds a great depth and weight to this … makes the reader completely fall into the story even more … and allows for a narrative shift too ….
so brava – well done at marrying a “two for one” and really making it work, without detracting or calling undue attention to itself (nothing worse than something “slogged in and sticking out like a sore thumb) . … and after all the technical – this is wonderful tale/tail? mermaid wishes and dreams, indeed. And oddly enough, it also brings to my mind, the image of Medusa – but I prefer this story to hers.
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You are so sweet Pat. I agree – it was too stilted to put it at the beginning. I appreciate the encouragement.
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I think you’ve worded it very well 🙂
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Very clever and nicely penned!
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Thank you!
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Not sure it was the fairy tale existence she was hoping for! I love the last line.
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Ha ha …well it was “ever after”.
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her future is pretty much set in stone (so to speak) now!
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lol
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perfect! once upon a moonbeam, maybe that will be the mermaid’s magic spell. love that stanza so much, it tied the entire poem together
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Oh good… thanks.
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Oh my goodness, your imagination is amazing V.J. Incredible poem, The Great Orb now has her for keeps.
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Watch what you wish for, lol.
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That’s right….spooky when you think of it…lol
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