I loved him with the passion
of a child – he was the sun
and I the golden calf – a mutual
worship, trust and respect.
His words were my sustenance,
mother’s lap busy with a baby,
older sisters reluctant to embrace
a half-sister and unasked for dad.
Reassured by his promises,
bolstered by his protectiveness
I felt his loyalty, committed to
reciprocating, so when he turned
on mother – his tongue a cruel
master – I faulted her too,
guessed she must be lower
than the exalted – he and I –
but as the tirades escalated
and the promises fell empty,
the tarnish began to show,
and I shifted allegiance –
intervened against maniacal
outbursts, tried to interject
sensibility, dissuade drunken
frays, the ferocity of his heat
no long warming, crushed
our family’s equilibrium –
he disappeared to soon
into the safety of death
left me reeling in the dark,
trying to decipher the codes
of his torment, the betrayal of
a father who was once my sun.
very powerful!
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Thank you!
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Oh, V.J. … this is so beautifully written, and so heartbreaking.
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Thanks Heide. Silly that I’m still trying to work through it all, but the legacies of abuse live on somehow.
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It doesn’t seem silly to me at all, V.J. Quite the contrary: It would be silly to ignore the past and try to carry on as if nothing had ever happened.
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Thanks, Heide.
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Truth can be very difficult to recognize … even harder to swallow. Powerful poem.
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Thanks Jazz. It hovered around for a bit, before I was able to commit it to paper.
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Wow! I could feel this piece in my heart. Wonderful.
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Thanks, Teresa. It was a wonderful day.
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